The Iron Man 2 Scenes You WON’T See in Theaters
Paramount sold us a bill of goods!
Like good little geeks, we’ve all been drooling over the Iron Man 2 trailers as they’ve been released. And we’ve seen USA’s “sneak peek” at least six thousand times between NCIS reruns (is it still a sneak peek if the movie’s out now?). And of course, we have now seen the ultimate trailer (for the Avengers movie), Iron Man 2.
But something was missing.
No…somethings! Yes, there were several items from the trailers and previews and “sneak peeks” and whatnot that I definitely did not see in the actual film of Iron Man 2. And I am BITTER because I think I would have liked them. Warning: minor spoilers follow.
1. “Go Get ‘Em, Boss!”
As quite possibly the only person in the universe (or at least my movie theater) who has seen Iron Man 2 but did not see Iron Man 1, I would have loved for this scene– in which wealthy businessman / outed Iron Man Tony asks his sweet but sassy secretary Pepper Potts for a good-luck kiss, which she grants to his helmet –to be in the film. Obviously I knew that they had one of those “sexual tension” semi-romance deals going, but on the off-chance I was clueless, this would have given it away.
Instead, we got an already-masked-up Tony jumping out of the plane and showing off his flying skills, offering a lot more glitz and a lot less character development. But the scene was good enough to promote the film? Go figure.
2. Iron Scarlett
It should come as no surprise that Scarlett Johansson’s role in Iron Man 2 is, more than anything, to promote the upcoming Avengers flick (currently due 2012-ish). Well, assuming you set aside the whole “looking really hot” thing. As mysterious member of the Legal department Natasha Rushman, Scarlett delivers on the hot-looking, and the ass-kicking as well, but where the trailer promised us a whole lot of Tony-Natasha smoldering, in the film their relationship is considerably more…flaccid.
Once I saw Natasha’s introductory scene in a boxing ring, I remembered this scene from the trailer and anticipated it twice as eagerly as before (what? The leopard-print dress is delicious on her– don’t deny your true feelings). But suddenly the movie was over and I did not see ScarJo shooting lasers out of a mechanical arm. Highway robbery, plain and simple.
3. Pepper/Tony/Natasha Love Triangle
The previous two missing scenes help add up to the third item, not so much a missing scene as an entire missing side plot– Entertainment Tonight swore up and down that there would be a love triangle between Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, and Natasha Rushman. But Tony’s response to Natasha after their first scene together is lackluster, and Pepper seems more concerned about him courting a lawsuit than a sexy (and cunning) linguist. The closest we ever get is when Pepper, for reasons that have clearly been edited out of the film because they’re otherwise mystifying, blames Tony’s misbehavior on her.
Not that I particularly felt like I needed some lame love triangle added in, but come on– who wouldn’t want to see Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson seething at one another over Tony? By keeping it out they’ve denied all the fanfic authors, fan artists, amateur music video makers, and the people who follow them ANY excuse to make a Pepper/Tony/Natasha threesome, or better yet, a Pepper/Natasha catfight-turned-lovefest. Sad, sad, sad.
Sure, the film was decently enjoyable even without all of the above, but I for one am now considerably more interested in the DVD/Blu-Ray release of the film. Which, in retrospect, is exactly why they teased us with all this stuff and left it out of the movie to begin with.
